Wednesday, September 27, 2006



Brave and Startling Truth by Maya Angelou
for the 50th Anniversary of the United Nations

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasu
ancient histories of pain
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

A Brave and Startling Truth
We, this people on a small and lonely planet
Traveling through causal space
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns
To a destination where all signs tell us
It is possible and imperative that we discover
A brave and startling truth
And when we come to it
To the day of peacemaking
When we release our fingers
From fists of hostility
And alow the pure air to cool our palms

When we come to it
When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate
And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean
When battlefields and coliseum
No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters
Up with the bruised and bloody grass
To lie in identical plots in foreign lands
When the rapacious storming of churches
The screaming racket in the temples have ceased
When the pennants are waving gaily
When the banners of the world tramble
Stoutly in the good, clean breeze



When we come to it
When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders
And children dress their dolls in flags of truce
When land mines of death have been removed
And the aged may walk into evenings of peace
When religious ritual is not perfumed
By the incense of burning flesh
And childhood dreams are not kicked awake
By nightmares of abuse
When we come to it
Then we will confess that not the Pyramids
With their stones set in mysterious perfection
Not the Garden of Babylon
Hanging as eternal beauty
In our collective memory
Not the Grand Canyon
Kindled in delicious color
By Western sunsets
Not the Danube flowing in its blue soul into Europe
Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji
Stretching to the rising sun
Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor,
Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shore
These are not the only wonders of the world

When we come to it
We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe
Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade, the dagger
Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace
We, this people on this mote of matter
In whose mouths abide cantankerous words


Which challenge our existence
Yet out of those same mouths
Can come songs of such exquisite sweetness
That the heart falters in its labor
And the body is quieted into awe
We, this people, on this small and drifting planet
Whose hands can strike with such abandon
That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living
Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness
That the haughty neck is happy to bow
And the proud back is glad to bend
Out of such chaos, of such contradiction
We learn that we are neither devils or divines



When we come to it
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body
Created on this earth, of this earth
Have the power to fashion for this earth
A climate where every man and every woman
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety
And without crippling fear

When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonders of this world
That is when, and only when

We come to it.
Equality
You declare you see me dimly
through a glass which will not shine,
though I stand before you boldly,
trim in rank and marking time.
You do own to hear me faintly
as a whisper out of range,
while my drums beat out the message
and the rhythms never change.
Equality, and I will be free.
Equality, and I will be free.

You announce my ways are wanton,
that I fly from man to man,
but if I'm just a shadow to you,
could you ever understand ?
We have lived a painful history,
we know the shameful past,
but I keep on marching forward,
and you keep on coming last.
Equality, and I will be free.
Equality, and I will be free.



Take the blinders from your vision,
take the padding from your ears,
and confess you've heard me crying,
and admit you've seen my tears.
Hear the tempo so compelling,
hear the blood throb in my veins.
Yes, my drums are beating nightly,
and the rhythms never change.
Equality, and I will be free.
Equality, and I will be free.

Monday, September 25, 2006

feels cold today
my pink/purple silk scarf
swinging in the wind

i walked on, looking
at the passerby
saw myself in the mirror

skinny, a bit fragile
yet
at ease

Friday, September 22, 2006


(after her shower)
it was in december 2003 when i received a pressie from mercedes, a book called Too busy not to pray by Bill Hybels. on the inner cover she wrote she had bought this one having been unable to find The inner voice of love by Henri Nouwen.


a few years later i was able to find it in paddyfield . com, after abandoning it for sometime, i found it on my bookshelf this morning. i'd forgotten what i read from this book but i underlined some bits. it felt like someone reading through my story and teaching me ways out of it... here i share some little bits with you. it's from the first page of the book:

There is a deep hole in your being, like an abyss. You will never succeed in filling that hole, because your needs are inexhaustible. You have to work around it so that gradually the abyss closes.

Since the hole is so enormous and your anguish is so deep, you will always be tempted to flee from it. There are two extremes to avoid: being completely absorbed in your pain and being distracted by so many things that you stay far away from the wound you want to heal.

Thursday, September 21, 2006


friend natasha has been looking for someone nice to take care of this little kitty. i so want to hug her but she is in mumbai :(
little sweetie pie hope you find a mommy soon.

Monday, September 11, 2006


(Kew Garden may 2006)

taken from
Daily Prayer Rx for September 11 2006:

Gracious heavenly Father, You have created each of us for Your purposes. ... You have a plan for my life. It is up to me to build a relationship with You, to discover what You want for me. My greatest worth and happiness depend on this. ... Remind me that I am made in Your image, just as Jesus was when "He emptied Himself,"and became flesh and blood. ... His Spirit was His connection to You, just as my spirit becomes when I acknowledge You as God and accept Jesus' sacrifice for my sins. ... He had a soul, just as I have -- mind, will, and emotions -- one's unique personality. ... Jesus chose to always seek Your will, and to be obedient to it. I have the same choice, for I can know Your will through the Word and by Jesus' example, with the Holy Spirit's guidance. ... I have a physical, destructible body, just as Jesus had. How I take care of it, and use it, is a test of my commitment to You, for You have called me "to be holy as You are holy,"** for my greatest fulfillment, and for Your purposes. ... Open my eyes to see this, Lord. Walk with me, and help me to desire to share Your love and Your Word, that together we can make this a better world.
In the name of Jesus I pray.
Amen.


by DL Hammond


(last day til exam!)

Sunday, September 10, 2006



look ahead... that's where the 'pier' is

Saturday, September 09, 2006



this morning in bed
suddenly felt the autumn breeze
finally arrived

an errie feeling
haunted me for
five autumns
stunned
the simplest
of me

i remember some time ago
you said
to hurt me, was
a regret

shuddering in disbelief
weary for the summer to leave
i prayed
for an end to this

Friday, September 08, 2006



The Summer Day by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean -
the one who has flung herself
out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out
of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and
forth instead of up and down -
who is gazing around with her
enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and
thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open,
and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention,
how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down
in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how
to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?